I lack an invisible elephant. At least, if I have one, I have never seen it. That invisible elephant is called sexual attraction. I do not experience sexual attraction to others. To the best of my knowledge, I never have. I am asexual.
It is very difficult for me to say “I am asexual.” More difficult, perhaps, than it is for most, but perhaps easier than it is for others. Why is this?
I am a sexually active asexual.
Even worse, I enjoy sex. And I seek it out.
It was very hard for me to come to terms with this, to be able to say “I am asexual.” I was afraid that I would make the asexual community look like a joke. Some asexuals informed me that I couldn’t be asexual and still LOVE sex. That people would think that I was making a mockery of their identity. I know all too well the search for an identity and the pain of having people hurt you for it. I did not want to cause anyone hurt.
My desire not to hurt anyone did not change what I was, though. An asexual who is happy in sexual relationships.
This leaves people with questions. How can I do this? How can I be this THING?
I am what I am would be the cop out answer. This blog is for me to examine this thing that I am and, hopefully, give answers to those who might be questioning what the THING is that they are.
Hopefully, someone is reading this and can relate. To you I say, hello, my fellow carnal asexual.